for some reason
I miss you for
some reason
the way you
laugh
in a
freefall
eyes
too brown
lips too full
words
too
god
damn
mother
fucking
kind
and open arms
like something out
of
stainedglass
a
mirage
something finally
correct
after thousands of years
a
smilekiss
whatever
you’ve
got
“We lose ourselves in the things we love, and we find ourselves there too.” I agree completely with the first part of this statement… but I lost myself in him fully, and I’m very concerned that I may never find myself again… I’d never been so caught up in someone, never fully comprehended what it meant to love, and now that i have i’d rather avoid it… I understand the phrase drunk on love now… because you have absolutely no control over yourself and it is terrible. You have no idea that your embarrassing yourself and that someday possibly very soon you’ll look back and think, “why the fuck did I say that?” “what in the hell possessed me to do that?”. So now I’m stuck missing a huge chunk of myself and having to reconstruct from the roots up…
I’m an optimist. I believe in happy ever afters, and true love, and perfection. I just don’t think they involve finding someone to spend the rest of my life with. I believe in making the world my bitch all on my own. I don’t need a man to pave the way for me and hold my hand as I go through life. I feel like that’s almost giving up on yourself. Don’t get me wrong, if you find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with I think you should. But I also think you need to find out who you are, and make something of yourself all on your own before you should start depending on someone else. Because then when you really do find someone you know it’s for all the right reasons. Not because your lonely, or poor, or trying to get over that guy in high school who broke your heart. It’s because you finally found someone who’s life is complimentary to yours and instead of depending on each other to make your life average, you make something amazing.
If I can’t save us, I’ve got to save myself.
Just now realizing why on the twenty fifth all i wanted to do was lay in bed and cry. oh.
I am so sick of you ruining everything. Every time I try to start over and move on, here I am comparing everything to you. I just wish for once How our relationship was and how you treated me and how you would have reacted to this or that wasn’t all I could think about! I want to go back to dating guys that would never expect things out of me that I am so uncomfortable giving. I wish I could stop being scared of being used and then left. Of being cheated on and broken again. You hurt me so bad. Worse than anyone because your the only person I ever let get that close to me. And now every time I try to let someone close again they run into a wall. And that wall is you.
Too scared to move forward. Too scarred to look back.
you left me
you left me
like picking up
the laundry,not even
30mph,visor down,
no blinker.and you took the
winter with
you.now
I wait,
smiling,
for the
jaws of
long
summer days
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
